How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women (Take Her Off The Pedestal)

Have you ever been obsessed with a girl you just met and it completely screwed up the interaction?

Look, women are not attracted to guys that put them on pedestals. 

And if you’re stuck on a woman with an unhealthy obsession, it’s probably screwing with your life.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women

Don’t Put Girls On Pedestals

You’ve probably heard of “putting a woman on a pedestal”, the tendency for some of us to view a woman’s positive qualities and ignore her negative ones. Optimistically looking at people and seeing the best is a GOOD thing. The problem comes when we PROJECT qualities onto a woman that she doesn’t actually have, or when we project that the side we like is her ALL the time as if she’s not a normal human with moods swings, problems, and a lot of stuff going on.

The problem with this mode of thinking is that WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS doesn’t match your PROJECTED FANTASY about who she is. This is always a recipe for disappointment.

Guys with this issue fall into one of two camps, either they don’t operate from an ABUNDANCE mentality (they can’t find a bunch of options to meet their own needs), or they have very little experience, leaving very few references in their minds to navigate real relationships with real people.

Before I understood these concepts, I used to think like this all the time. One girl, in particular, caught me for a loop at the bar in my hometown. We started vibing, shared some laughs, and eventually made out on the dancefloor. What a great night! After that, however, I started PROJECTING onto her all of the stuff I wanted in a girlfriend, some of which she didn’t actually have. Inadvertently, I stopped viewing her as a human, and just viewed her through the lens as my ideal partner, who could meet all of my needs and nullify all of my insecurities. Ignoring who she actually was, I began to get disappointed over and over again because she wasn’t meeting my expectations. Instead of ACTUALLY ENGAGING with her and basking in the amazingness of who she actually was, I just kept trying to get her to act like I THOUGHT she SHOULD be acting. That blew up in my face, and she stopped talking to me altogether.

Do you have a similar situation? Let’s see how can we stop projecting in our obsessions and see her for who she really is?

TIP #1
Knock her off her pedestal by flipping the script 

You are the prize. If you put her on a pedestal in your mind, you might be giving off needy or weak vibes, waiting around for her to give you the right signs, give you permission to make a move, or approve of you. STOP THAT. You are the prize to be won. When you realize your own value to her, you’ll expect her to work for you. This has a double benefit of both showing your value, and stopping weak behaviors that turn her off.

TIP #2
Focus on you

Every hero has a quest, and every man has a mission. When you prove to yourself that you have ambition and success in other areas, you can validate yourself, instead of waiting for her to do it for you.

·          Find your mission

·          Pour Everything into it

·          Challenge yourself to crush it. Step up like a man and make things happen, rather than just waiting around to get lucky.

TIP #3
Manage your own emotions

When you envision a woman who can complete you, you tend to see yourself as “not good enough”, or “broken”. You don’t need anyone to complete you, you’re awesome. Prove it to yourself, and she’ll notice it too, in the way you carry yourself.

·          Own your space in the world

·          Take responsibility for your own emotions

·          Take responsibility for how you make others feel, too. When you believe you’re a powerful influence on the people around you, you ARE!

TIP #4
Qualify her to fit into YOUR life.

When you get caught up with infatuation in the early stages of meeting someone new, step up and get to know her. Make a list of standards that she must meet, and then ask her about each one, evaluating how she fits in.

This will do two things;

1) It will free you from projecting ethereal or unrealistic expectations on women, and

2) It will bring attention to LOOKING FOR these qualities, so that you may see them in other people as well. This will broaden your pool of dateable women and you’ll be taking a massive step toward an abundance mentality.

The core idea behind getting over your obsession with new girls is REPLACING YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH REALITY, rather than your own myopic fantasy.

Final Thoughts

Armed with both a clear understanding of your own standards and an idea of how a woman you’re attracted to is operating, you’ll be able to see these qualities in everyone. Rather than PROJECTING a fantasy, EVALUATE the reality of every new woman you meet. Take action to ACTUALLY engage with a woman and you’ll free yourself from stalling in fantasy land obsessing over any one girl.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “Sure I’ll remember to do all that, but what do I say to a girl?” We got you covered:

We created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

·          My top conversation starters for any situation…

·          Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…

·          A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe

·          And simple ways to escalate the interaction.

·          And more!

http://www.theattractiveman.com/

What To Do When A Girl Looks At You

Do you know exactly what to do when a hot girl looks at you? Lots of guys blow it.

That FIRST GLANCE is crucial for setting the tone. You HAVE to know HOW to react to this situation!

Your only chance to seal the deal could SLIP AWAY in a heartbeat. 

So what should you do when a girl looks at you?

Before we go over what to do, I noticed a lot of pickup artists’ usually recommend you act all aloof and mysterious, like skulking at an area trying to act as if you’re waiting for women to come to you instead.

That doesn’t work very well. If anything, women will find you creepy, and probably stay away from you for good. Seriously, don’t give off a serial killer vibe.  

If she looks at you and you are taking your time it can ruin the mood and can make it seem like you are scared to talk to her. And don’t do the infamous “This drink’s from that guy across the table” – If you’re going to buy her a drink then take it to her yourself!

Now, most of the time when a girl looks at you, that means she’s interested in you, so that’s a great start. All you have to do now is capitalize on the situation.

First: Make Sure to Look Back!

Women love a man of action. Alpha males are what attracts women the most! So take charge and control.

Women usually don’t make the first move, MEN do. She’s looking at you to make sure you get the message.

When you’ve caught her looking at you, look back without hesitation.

·          If she looks away before you get the chance, keep looking back for a few seconds to catch her attention.

·          It’s important that she knows you noticed her.

Looking back can already create sexual tension, and that’s even before any word come out of your mouth!

·          Maintain dominance when looking back. Don’t act all meek and stare at the floor – If she stares back, keep looking at her as if you’re enjoying each other, even before you get near.

Second: Smile

Now that you’ve caught her attention, make sure you smile at her! That’s one of the things that attracts a woman the most. You should check our other article out – it has all you need to know to learn how to attractgirls!

According to research, smiling activates the pleasure sensors in our body almost the same as eating chocolate. Simply looking at someone’s smile literally brightens up your day!

·          A chin up, confident smile is the way to go. It actually gives women comfort and shows that you’re going to be a fun guy to be with.

·          When you’re looking back at her, the moment she notices, give her the best smile you have – one that says “hey, let’s have some fun”

·          You can also look away and smile for a moment, then look back at her. This draws a certain allure and mystery while at the same time acknowledging that you’re going to approach her and would love to know her better. 

Here are also some things you should not do:

·          Avoid a creepy nodding smile or cheesy smirk.

·          And please don’t frown thinking it’s cool to feel entitled. Women hate that.

·          Don’t try too much to force a smile either, just relax, make sure it comes naturally as if you appreciate her looking at you and you’re enjoying every moment.

A good way to know your perfect smile is to practice in front of the mirror every day – go ahead, it actually helps!

Third: Establish Powerful Eye Contact

Confidence dictates control. When you look at a woman, always try to maintain eye contact even before the conversation starts!

·          Check her reaction, the moment you’ve looked back and she notices, lock eyes immediately.

·          Keep at it if she’s doing the same, it’s actually a very enjoyable stare-down especially after you’ve thrown the perfect smile at her.

If she looks away quickly, that means one of three things – she got creeped out, OR she’s the shy type, OR she’s playing hard to get. Yes, women do these all the time. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t give up.

·          If you think she’s the shy type, then give her enough time to adjust, turn it down a notch, but don’t wait too long to approach or you’ll lose your chance!

·          If you think she’s playing hard to get, then, by all means, keep the confidence up and take control.

Remember to focus on her eyes, it can be a turn-off and unclassy to stare at her body rather than her face.

And Finally: Approach Her

Taking the previous tips into consideration, approaching her is the best part.

Remember guys, a woman looking at you is an invitation. Women don’t make the move, MEN do. Instinctively, women go for the aggressive and assertive man, because that’s exactly what they look for in males – security, and if you’re sloppy and slow, that looks like a weakness and a turn-off. When women throw out the signal, men who make the move are instantly more attractive.

Remember that

·          Body movements are important, walking tall, with a straight back and your head up.

·          No slouching or looking at the ground.