5 Creepy Things Guys do that Turn Girls Off

Approaching someone new, and flirting with them can be super nerve-wracking. We’ve ALL been there. When meeting a new girl, an important thing to remember is that she will feel nervous too!

Meeting anyone new can be a little tense. If you can do something to release that nervous tension, then you’ve got a great chance. A girl wants to feel safe and at ease in your presence. That’s what attracts women. If you create awkward tension by coming across even a little creepy, she’s going to be on guard and you’re going to lose her interest.

MISTAKE 1: They don’t approach after making eye contact!

The first mistake I’ve seen a lot of guys make is that they take FOREVER to approach after making eye contact. When I’m out with my girlfriends, you can guarantee there’s going to be at least one guy that night who makes eye contact with one of us across the room. And then continues to stare over at you for 10-15 mins until they gain the courage to approach.

If you think you’re being fun and playing hard to get building that “Will they/ won’t they?” vibe across the bar, you’re wrong.

The only thing you’ve succeeded in doing is giving off stalker vibes and making the girl feel really uncomfortable knowing you’re even there. You need to approach quickly after making eye contact. Maybe catch her eye once or twice or even three times and then approach. This will make you seem confident and secure and will help her feel more at ease.

MISTAKE 2: They get too close!

The second mistake a lot of guys make is getting too close, too soon. My neighbor, a single guy, asked me a good question the other day… “What if you can’t make eye contact because it’s crowded or you just can’t seem to catch a girl’s glance? What do you do?”

This is a great question because what you do here can definitely make or break your chances. If you can’t get her attention easily, it’s definitely okay to approach her still! You’ve just got to make sure you do it the right way.

The best guideline to remember here is to respect her personal bubble. You don’t want her to feel threatened or nervous by you before you even get the chance to flirt! I have had guys approach me in a bar who tap my shoulder and when I turn around, they are literally five inches from my face!

This will immediately put any girl on edge. If you need to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, that’s great, but do it with an arm’s length between you and approach from the side if you can!

MISTAKE 3: They don’t know what to say!

Okay, so you’ve approached the girl… now what? This seems like basic advice but you need to approach with confidence and you NEED to have something to say to her! Practice this in a mirror, or with a friend, or anything you need to do. We also have an article about approaching a girl who doesn’t speak the same language as you!

Keep the conversation light, use a silly pickup line, or make a joke, or you can even tease her a little… but make sure you have SOMETHING to say other than “Hey, I’m so and so.”

Just this weekend, A guy, with whom I had made eye contact a couple times, came up to me and said  “Hey, I’m Bryan” and I smiled and said “Hey! I’m Nicole, nice to meet you.” and then he kind of dropped his head and was silent for like the longest 5 seconds and then goes… “uhhh so are you from around here?”

Needless to say, this conversation went nowhere.  After you introduce yourself, you can, and should, make a flirty comment… maybe compliment something she’s wearing, or her eyes or smile… ANYthing about her! Then use your surroundings as topic cues! Are you at a new bar or an old favorite? Talk about that!

If you’re in a coffee shop or store, make comments about your order or tell a story about something you see. By using your surroundings as cues, you can keep the conversation relevant and interactive for BOTH of you. Finding common ground can be a little awkward for anyone, so using cues around you is an easy way to get an idea of what a person likes and thinks.

MISTAKE 4: The Creepy Stare!

Making TOO much eye contact.

This can get a little tricky to find the right balance, but just as the guy who wouldn’t make eye contact with me was weird, making too much eye contact is equally, if not more, creepy. My good friend went on a date recently and the guy made a comment about how her eyes were really pretty… and then basically didn’t look away from them!

Even when she looked away, and tried to distract his gaze, he would immediately return to looking her straight in the eye. This is obviously an extreme example but it’s important to find a good balance that you’re both comfortable with.

MISTAKE 5: Too touchy-feely! 

Too much or unwelcome physical contact can also make a girl feel creeped out. This absolutely differs from girl to girl but you need to pay attention to her body language. Not only how much, but the way, you touch her really matters.

You definitely want to establish a touching interaction fairly soon in the convo, but these first physical interactions need to be light and quick. A nice touch on the arm or shoulder, or maybe at the small of her back if you’re walking… these are all great! Keep it playful! Don’t wrap your arm around her or anything like that just yet. That can make her feel trapped or uneasy.

If you’re having a chat and playfully touch her arm and she smiles and continues talking, then you’re probably good to do that again. She’ll most likely even reciprocate during the conversation. Also, if you touch her and she kinda pulls away or takes a step back, doing it again is probably going to make her feel uncomfortable.

Just because she pulled away doesn’t mean she’s not into you! If the conversation is still going well, it may just mean she’s not ready for that kind of interaction yet. Continue flirting and pay attention to body language, and she’ll let you know when she’s ready. If the conversation dies and feels awkward after a touch, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not into it, so you’ll know to make a nice exit and not waste your time with someone who’s not interested.

So I’ve covered the 5 mistakes – a lot of these things are actually EASILY AVOIDABLE as they are kind of based on a lack of confidence or nervousness. If you want to lose that approach anxiety and explode your confidence, we put together a free Confidence Cheat Sheet that gives you just what you need to gain the strength to approach a girl you like!

How To Tell If A Girl Likes You

Have you ever wondered:

“Does she like me?”

“Should I ask her out?”

“Should I approach her?”

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a girl likes you or not. The problem is that women communicate “covertly”. Women usually don’t explicitly say, “I like you,” but communicate that through other means.

It’s important for you to know how to read her signs so you don’t miss an opportunity. So check out this video where I cover this in detail. After that, you’ll be ready to approach a girl without fear.

Yo! Alright, look… Women can be hard to read sometimes… They don’t always give guys clear signals.

It’s not in their nature to tell a guy when to make the move.

She’s not going to tell you “Okay I want you to kiss me now!” or “Yes you can take me back to your place now!”

Women don’t usually do that, they just expect the guy to know when to make a move. And it’s all about reading her sub communication. There are certain things women do that tell a guy she’s interested. So let’s break this down.

But before we begin I need to make a disclaimer…

Because I see a lot of new students fall into a deadly trap when it comes to this.

A lot of guys when they are talking to a girl will constantly look for signals to see if she is interested in them. They’re trying to look for any clue that she likes them. Some guys don’t even want to approach a girl until he knows she likes him. It’s because they don’t want to get rejected, and I get it, rejection sucks…

But here’s the deal. If you’re with a girl, and you keep thinking:

Does she like me? oh, she flicked her hair… does that mean she likes me, or she just stepped back, does that mean she doesn’t like me, she touched my arm, I think she likes me… Oh she’s going back to her friends…  maybe she’s not interested…???

What you’re doing here is putting her on a pedestal and making her the prize. When you do this, unconsciously you’re trying to prove yourself to her and win her over. And I can tell you right now, that if you do that, you’re not going to get the girl.

So when you see a girl you want to talk to, don’t worry about signs of interest. Instead, You have to go into the situation not wondering does she like me… but why should I like her? I wonder what makes this girl special. Let’s find out.

You have to assume she wants you man, and that she needs to prove herself to you.

You want her to react to YOU. You need to have it embedded in your mind that you are the prize and she would love to be with you… she just doesn’t know it yet. That’s the mindset of a guy that actually gets girls.

So! now that I’ve given you a disclaimer, let’s break down the signs a girl gives you when she’s interested.

Body Language Cues

According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, the human body decides if they find someone attractive within one second of looking at them.

Literally the instant she sees you, she already knows if she’s DTF or not. Again, women don’t tell you straight up if they’re into you… you just have to look at her body language.

Blushing

When human beings are attracted to someone, blood flows to their cheeks and they can’t help but blush. If her cheeks are red and she’s blushing, there’s a good chance she’s into you. Or she just put on a ton of blush.

Eye Contact

Prolonged eye contact is another huge indicator of attraction. But don’t think that just because a girl looks away, it means she’s not interested. Often, women look away because they’re nervous – or they don’t want to seem too weird or creepy.

And if a girl doesn’t look away at all, and keeps staring at you, then run! She’s probably crazy and is going to be waiting for you in the bushes when you go home.

If you’re seeing some of these signs but you’re still not sure whether she’s trying to get you to come talk to her, don’t worry. According to research, the majority of men don’t pick up on a woman’s flirtatious body language right away.

Physiological Cues

Let’s face it, us guys are just not all that perceptive. But if you wait around trying to make sure you see all the right signs, you’re going to lose many opportunities or work yourself into a frenzy from all the waiting around and probably chicken out. So just take charge and approach. You have nothing to lose. Assume she wants you.

Once you make your approach and start talking to a woman, there are some more signs you can look for to tell if she likes you.

Increased Heart Rate

 When you’re attracted to someone, your heart starts pumping faster. So either break out your stethoscope or just listen to hear if she’s breathing heavy.

Dilated Pupils

Our pupils tend to dilate when we’re sexually attracted to someone. 

Instinctive Behavioral Cues

Feet And Arms

Look down at her feet. If they’re pointed in your direction, she’s subconsciously trying to line herself up with you. If her feet are pointed away that may mean she wants to leave.

Check out her arms, specifically her sleeves. Women tend to pull up their sleeves if they’re attracted to someone, as a subconscious way of showing off their skin.

Moving Closer To You

Another thing women do when they’re attracted to someone is trying to close the distance between themselves and the guy. But this goes beyond just moving closer to you. If she slides a glass or a menu toward you, it may be a sign she’s trying to get closer to you. Or she just wants you to buy her something off the menu.

Touching Her Hair And Neck

If a girl is into you, she’ll likely touch her hair and neck when talking to you. This isn’t a conscious decision, but rather a primal instinct to help expose her armpits, which release sex hormones designed to turn you on. That’s right, it’s not BO – it’s sex hormones….. Sexual attraction is gross.

Final Thoughts

But all that being said, I can’t stress it enough that you really don’t need to worry about these signs. The problem is that most guys won’t make a move because they don’t notice the signs and then they actually lose the girl because the girl gets tired of waiting for him to man up.

So I say if you like the girl make your move. If she’s just not interested she’ll make it perfectly clear. The only sign you really need is whether she’s staying with you or not. If she’s not interested she will likely excuse herself.

If you want to know exactly what to say to turn her on – we created a Free Escalation Cheat Sheet that lists out some of our best ways to spark sexual tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom.

It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic – friendly interaction, into a more sexual – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe.

This is very useful when you’re talking to a girl but it’s going nowhere.

Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level!

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women (Take Her Off The Pedestal)

Have you ever been obsessed with a girl you just met and it completely screwed up the interaction?

Look, women are not attracted to guys that put them on pedestals. 

And if you’re stuck on a woman with an unhealthy obsession, it’s probably screwing with your life.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women

Don’t Put Girls On Pedestals

You’ve probably heard of “putting a woman on a pedestal”, the tendency for some of us to view a woman’s positive qualities and ignore her negative ones. Optimistically looking at people and seeing the best is a GOOD thing. The problem comes when we PROJECT qualities onto a woman that she doesn’t actually have, or when we project that the side we like is her ALL the time as if she’s not a normal human with moods swings, problems, and a lot of stuff going on.

The problem with this mode of thinking is that WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS doesn’t match your PROJECTED FANTASY about who she is. This is always a recipe for disappointment.

Guys with this issue fall into one of two camps, either they don’t operate from an ABUNDANCE mentality (they can’t find a bunch of options to meet their own needs), or they have very little experience, leaving very few references in their minds to navigate real relationships with real people.

Before I understood these concepts, I used to think like this all the time. One girl, in particular, caught me for a loop at the bar in my hometown. We started vibing, shared some laughs, and eventually made out on the dancefloor. What a great night! After that, however, I started PROJECTING onto her all of the stuff I wanted in a girlfriend, some of which she didn’t actually have. Inadvertently, I stopped viewing her as a human, and just viewed her through the lens as my ideal partner, who could meet all of my needs and nullify all of my insecurities. Ignoring who she actually was, I began to get disappointed over and over again because she wasn’t meeting my expectations. Instead of ACTUALLY ENGAGING with her and basking in the amazingness of who she actually was, I just kept trying to get her to act like I THOUGHT she SHOULD be acting. That blew up in my face, and she stopped talking to me altogether.

Do you have a similar situation? Let’s see how can we stop projecting in our obsessions and see her for who she really is?

TIP #1
Knock her off her pedestal by flipping the script 

You are the prize. If you put her on a pedestal in your mind, you might be giving off needy or weak vibes, waiting around for her to give you the right signs, give you permission to make a move, or approve of you. STOP THAT. You are the prize to be won. When you realize your own value to her, you’ll expect her to work for you. This has a double benefit of both showing your value, and stopping weak behaviors that turn her off.

TIP #2
Focus on you

Every hero has a quest, and every man has a mission. When you prove to yourself that you have ambition and success in other areas, you can validate yourself, instead of waiting for her to do it for you.

·          Find your mission

·          Pour Everything into it

·          Challenge yourself to crush it. Step up like a man and make things happen, rather than just waiting around to get lucky.

TIP #3
Manage your own emotions

When you envision a woman who can complete you, you tend to see yourself as “not good enough”, or “broken”. You don’t need anyone to complete you, you’re awesome. Prove it to yourself, and she’ll notice it too, in the way you carry yourself.

·          Own your space in the world

·          Take responsibility for your own emotions

·          Take responsibility for how you make others feel, too. When you believe you’re a powerful influence on the people around you, you ARE!

TIP #4
Qualify her to fit into YOUR life.

When you get caught up with infatuation in the early stages of meeting someone new, step up and get to know her. Make a list of standards that she must meet, and then ask her about each one, evaluating how she fits in.

This will do two things;

1) It will free you from projecting ethereal or unrealistic expectations on women, and

2) It will bring attention to LOOKING FOR these qualities, so that you may see them in other people as well. This will broaden your pool of dateable women and you’ll be taking a massive step toward an abundance mentality.

The core idea behind getting over your obsession with new girls is REPLACING YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH REALITY, rather than your own myopic fantasy.

Final Thoughts

Armed with both a clear understanding of your own standards and an idea of how a woman you’re attracted to is operating, you’ll be able to see these qualities in everyone. Rather than PROJECTING a fantasy, EVALUATE the reality of every new woman you meet. Take action to ACTUALLY engage with a woman and you’ll free yourself from stalling in fantasy land obsessing over any one girl.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “Sure I’ll remember to do all that, but what do I say to a girl?” We got you covered:

We created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

·          My top conversation starters for any situation…

·          Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…

·          A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe

·          And simple ways to escalate the interaction.

·          And more!

http://www.theattractiveman.com/

What To Do When A Girl Looks At You

Do you know exactly what to do when a hot girl looks at you? Lots of guys blow it.

That FIRST GLANCE is crucial for setting the tone. You HAVE to know HOW to react to this situation!

Your only chance to seal the deal could SLIP AWAY in a heartbeat. 

So what should you do when a girl looks at you?

Before we go over what to do, I noticed a lot of pickup artists’ usually recommend you act all aloof and mysterious, like skulking at an area trying to act as if you’re waiting for women to come to you instead.

That doesn’t work very well. If anything, women will find you creepy, and probably stay away from you for good. Seriously, don’t give off a serial killer vibe.  

If she looks at you and you are taking your time it can ruin the mood and can make it seem like you are scared to talk to her. And don’t do the infamous “This drink’s from that guy across the table” – If you’re going to buy her a drink then take it to her yourself!

Now, most of the time when a girl looks at you, that means she’s interested in you, so that’s a great start. All you have to do now is capitalize on the situation.

First: Make Sure to Look Back!

Women love a man of action. Alpha males are what attracts women the most! So take charge and control.

Women usually don’t make the first move, MEN do. She’s looking at you to make sure you get the message.

When you’ve caught her looking at you, look back without hesitation.

·          If she looks away before you get the chance, keep looking back for a few seconds to catch her attention.

·          It’s important that she knows you noticed her.

Looking back can already create sexual tension, and that’s even before any word come out of your mouth!

·          Maintain dominance when looking back. Don’t act all meek and stare at the floor – If she stares back, keep looking at her as if you’re enjoying each other, even before you get near.

Second: Smile

Now that you’ve caught her attention, make sure you smile at her! That’s one of the things that attracts a woman the most. You should check our other article out – it has all you need to know to learn how to attractgirls!

According to research, smiling activates the pleasure sensors in our body almost the same as eating chocolate. Simply looking at someone’s smile literally brightens up your day!

·          A chin up, confident smile is the way to go. It actually gives women comfort and shows that you’re going to be a fun guy to be with.

·          When you’re looking back at her, the moment she notices, give her the best smile you have – one that says “hey, let’s have some fun”

·          You can also look away and smile for a moment, then look back at her. This draws a certain allure and mystery while at the same time acknowledging that you’re going to approach her and would love to know her better. 

Here are also some things you should not do:

·          Avoid a creepy nodding smile or cheesy smirk.

·          And please don’t frown thinking it’s cool to feel entitled. Women hate that.

·          Don’t try too much to force a smile either, just relax, make sure it comes naturally as if you appreciate her looking at you and you’re enjoying every moment.

A good way to know your perfect smile is to practice in front of the mirror every day – go ahead, it actually helps!

Third: Establish Powerful Eye Contact

Confidence dictates control. When you look at a woman, always try to maintain eye contact even before the conversation starts!

·          Check her reaction, the moment you’ve looked back and she notices, lock eyes immediately.

·          Keep at it if she’s doing the same, it’s actually a very enjoyable stare-down especially after you’ve thrown the perfect smile at her.

If she looks away quickly, that means one of three things – she got creeped out, OR she’s the shy type, OR she’s playing hard to get. Yes, women do these all the time. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t give up.

·          If you think she’s the shy type, then give her enough time to adjust, turn it down a notch, but don’t wait too long to approach or you’ll lose your chance!

·          If you think she’s playing hard to get, then, by all means, keep the confidence up and take control.

Remember to focus on her eyes, it can be a turn-off and unclassy to stare at her body rather than her face.

And Finally: Approach Her

Taking the previous tips into consideration, approaching her is the best part.

Remember guys, a woman looking at you is an invitation. Women don’t make the move, MEN do. Instinctively, women go for the aggressive and assertive man, because that’s exactly what they look for in males – security, and if you’re sloppy and slow, that looks like a weakness and a turn-off. When women throw out the signal, men who make the move are instantly more attractive.

Remember that

·          Body movements are important, walking tall, with a straight back and your head up.

·          No slouching or looking at the ground.