10 Tips for Approaching Women in Public Places

When you see a gorgeous woman, you have about 5 seconds to come across as either creepy and intimidating or attractive and mysterious.

And the difference between the two is all in the approach.

I’m Renee Slansky with The Attractive Man, and today I will give you 10 tips for approaching women in public so that you know if and when to approach her and how to come across as confident and desirable at the same time.

I’m a professional dating and relationship coach, and I’m here to help men like yourself understand women and become a more confident man.

So, let’s talk about approaching women in public places. There is always a fine line between looking like a stalker and causing her to want to run away and looking like an alpha male who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to get it.

The truth is, majority of the time we as women do want men to approach us, because it made us feel more attractive and singled out, however, there are also sometimes when we are sending off apparent signals not to come near, and to be frank it really turns us off when you ignore them and push your agenda on us.

But it’s not to say that you can’t change our mind, so what I will do is break down the whole process for you and give you my top 10 tips to know when and if to approach us , how to turn the situation around so that we feel comfortable in your presence and of course how to set the right impression so that we feel safe and interested in who you are.

Let’s jump in!

1: Assess the environment – is she busy or with a bunch of girlfriends? Is she wearing a wedding ring? Does she look intoxicated or is she focused on something else important?

2: What is her body language saying – Does she have her arms or legs crossed? Is she looking around, does she look anxious or guarded?

3: Make your presence known without approaching her- Let her see you in her peripheral vision and get her subconscious associated that you are in her presence. Then move in and out of her line of sight without actually speaking or looking at her.

4: Catch her eye and smile – Test to see if she notices you with a smile or eye contact. Don’t hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds. See what her response is after you have caught her eye. What do her reaction and body language say?

5: Pick a feature or detail to focus on and compliment us – If you are going to approach her, have something in mind to talk about in a way to compliment her, but do not make it anything sexual. The smaller the detail the better as it shows you pay attention to the little things.

6: Never approach from behind – It’s creepy and doesn’t make us feel safe, plus it feels deceptive. Approach from the front or side so she can see you and your confidence.

7: Approach with a smile- A small genuine smile, not a huge cheesy or sleazy one. Stay natural and look like you are happy to see us, almost like we are an old friend.

8: Have relaxed body language and keep a distance between you both – Coming on too intense or too close will make us want to back off and put up walls. Keep at least a meter apart from her and try to keep your body relaxed. (Not crossing arms in front of chest or hands on hips.) You can come across as a confident alpha male without coming across as overbearing.

9: Don’t be so serious make her laugh- If you want to impress a woman and make her feel at ease, then the key is to get her to laugh. It doesn’t mean you have to have jokes up your sleeve, but rather just don’t take the conversation so seriously and look for an opening where you can make a comment that makes you both relate and laugh about it. Again compliments should be on the details, not sexual zones, ie, bum, boobs or lips.

10: Ask questions but listen more than you speak – Giving her your undivided attention (meaning not looking at your phone, around the room or other women) makes her feel special. Show her your interest by asking about her and then actively listening (portray this through your body language) affirm what she is saying, don’t agree with everything and leave some mystery about yourself…

Your approach is the beginning of initiating anything with a woman, hence why it can either seal your fate or open up limitless opportunities.  Master the approach and give a great first impression, while minimizing rejection.

But of course you have to have a conversation with her, so if you haven’t already downloaded our free conversation cheat sheet then click on the image below, right now!

5 Secrets To Make Her Fall In Love With You

Here are my 5 secrets to make her fall in love with you!

Whether you just met, it’s your first date or you’ve been dating a while, girls want a story. They fantasize about a fairytale romance.

Do what I tell you in this video and you will be able to create feelings of intense connection and love very quickly.

Some guys tend to believe that they there’s an elaborate formula to make a girl fall in love with you. Or that it’s all about money, fame, or looks for them. They couldn’t be more wrong:

#5 : Create a Story

Girls want a good story of how you guys met.

Think about it, Women are conditioned by romance moves, and even by Disney movies as a kid, and the prince and princess never meet on tinder or at a club.

Women fantasize about a movie moment where they meet their prince charming in a romantic way, like a bookstore or salsa class or any random unexpected way during the day where the man needs balls to approach her.

Like for me, I get approached way more at night, but it rarely happens during the day and I wish a charming guy would just come to say hi.  And the same is true for a date create lots of moments for her throughout the date, for example, if you take her to the movies and make her miss a good scene because you are trying to kiss her, it’s not going to be as special or memorable as going for the kiss on the beach under the stars or while dancing to a romantic song in the park.

Chivalry isn’t dead!

#4 : Bring her fairy tale to life

Pay close attention to what she says to ultimately figure out her goals and dreams in life. Then create alignment with her future and your future.

For example: after a couple of dates and she tells you she wants kids, you can ask her “do you think I’d be a good dad?” Therefore, you are getting her to start thinking about you as a fatherly-like figure. But make sure to always be real and authentic. 

Another example could be if she wants to be an entrepreneur, you could talk about, how fun would it be to work on your businesses together on the beach.  But make sure to be real and authentic, just don’t make stuff up. You don’t want to waste both your time if you are not compatible.

#3 : Create an adventure

The point here is to create great memories together because the more great memories you create the more invested and connected she will feel.

So, instead of just going to dinner and the movies, like every other guy, plan something more memorable and original like fun activities together, for example, Rollerblading, ice skating, dancing, or hiking, remember that motion creates emotion.

No girl wants to be bored on a date.

#2 : Create Emotion

People are used to having conversations about the same topics over and over again about work, the weather, family and where they are from.

It is fine to talk about these things but if that is the bulk of your conversation, she’ll just go into her autopilot response and won’t FEEL anything, and it’s emotions that create powerful memories.

For example: do you remember where you were when 9/11 happened, or when donald trump got elected? Probably bc You were either really excited Donald Trump was elected or really pissed. Either way, you were emotionally charged.

But do you remember what you had for dinner last tuesday? Probably not because it wasn’t emotional, unless it was your birthday or you did something unique. That’s because memories form through emotion. If she doesn’t feel anything then she won’t even remember you, let alone fall in love with you. The worst thing you could do is be boring.

In fact, it’s better to create any emotion than no emotion. A man is usually too scared to offend or upset the woman, so he plays it safe.

Ask memorable questions like:

•         “What would you tell your younger self?”
•         “What are your main goals in life?”
•         “What’s one thing no one knows about you?”

The first date I had with a guy was so memorable and I ended up dating him for 2 years after that.

So keep her stimulated, most importantly her mind stimulated with emotion & excitement.  It’s exciting and romantic memories that create the feeling of love.

#1 : Show Affection the way she wants it

You see, there are 5 major ways to show affection, also known as the 5 love languages.

Touch – massage, head scratch

Quality Time – attention is all on her

Words of Affirmation – telling her what you like, care about,

Acts of Service – doing something for her

Gift Giving – thoughtful presents (not necessarily expensive) that surprise and give value

You see, not every woman wants affection the same way. All of these forms of appreciation are important, but some are stronger than others for different people.  

For example, they are all important to me, but one of my strongest love languages is physical touch.

The key is to find out which are most important to her, because you might think you are giving her all this value by communicating to her in your own love language, when really you might be smothering her.

One way to find out her love languages is to pay attention to how she reacts by reading her body language. If you touch her and she recoils or if you compliment her and she shuts it down then those might not be her love languages.

You can even ask her, “would you rather a back massage or a receive gift?”. Or can even ask the girl if she knows what her love languages are, and if not you can explain it to her. 

Once you know her strongest forms of receiving affection, then simply start showing affection the way she wants. But make sure not to overdo it too soon.

Women should earn your affection.

Final Thoughts

Remember, if you can create a story for her, get imagining a future with you, make fun memories, spark romantic feelings, and show affection the way she wants, feelings of love will be right around the corner.

So, to help you out, Matt created a free conversation cheat sheet. where he breaks down exactly what to say after “Hello” to make her want you.

You get:

•   Our top conversation starters for any situation…
•   Simple techniques to never run out of things to say and create emotion…
•   A list of  games to play that create fun-flirty memories
•   And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
•  And more

https://www.theattractiveman.com/

Get Women to Approach You

We get asked a lot of dating questions. One that has been coming up recently is…

“Is it possible to get women to approach you first?”

Well, it’s time I show you how to make that happen…

How to Get Women to Approach You

6. Become Popular

This is probably the best way to get approached, but I put this at #6 because it can take a lot of work.

Obviously, celebs get approached a lot but you don’t have to become a famous actor or pop singer, you just need to become popular in your city. This is still going to take work but the payoff is fantastic.

The obvious way to do this is to start a popular business, like a restaurant or open up a club. It’s great if you can use yourself, your name, face or both, as the brand. My buddy Ike did this, his restaurant is called Ike’s Place and the log is his face, and every time I hang out with him, he gets approached by hot girls that recognize him.

If starting a business doesn’t sound appealing, you can become popular on social media. Start a YT prank channel, or give advice about something, or live a really interesting life and blog about it.

Example how I get approached by guys and how I’m sure Matthew Hussey get’s approached by a lot of girls.

5. Throw Events

If this still seems too hard you can just Build up your social circle

Throw parties. If your parties are awesome then the word will get out, especially if you are in a small town.

If you don’t want to throw parties, just

Hang out with girls

* Social circle – going to club with big group of girls. Girls might not approach you directly, but they might approach one of the girls you are with because they like her dress or something and then you can easily start talking to her.  Or the girls in your group can be your wing girls and you can send them off to go meet girls for you. Which brings me to number 4….

4. Get others to bring you girls

Now I know this isn’t the same as getting girls to approach you, but it can work really well, it’s easy to do and you don’t have to approach her first.

When you have a social circle, make sure everyone knows you are single and knows the type of girls that you like. Girls love to hook up their friends. You can even look on your friends social media and tell you female friend, hey who’s that girl in that pic you just posted? She’s cute. And tell her to introduce you.

Get bouncers to bring you girls, just tip them.

3.  Props

Dog/Puppy – Chicks love dogs!

Smoking – I don’t recommend this one but it can work. Girls will approach you for a cigarette if you smoke. I definitely don’t recommend picking up the habit just to meet girls, that’s a huge cop out. But if you are a smoker, or just a social smoker then you might get girls approaching you to bum a sig. Now if you aren’t a smoker, when you go to the clubs just have a lighter in your pocket, because sometimes a girl will just ask for a lighter.

Bring a camera into the bar.

2: Having a Skill:

The classic one is Magic, but you have to be careful with this if you go to a bar with a bunch of tricks to show off to everyone it may seem tryhard. But, if you are showing a trick to a friend, and a beautiful girl happens to see it, that would probably work better.

My personal favorite is Singing at a karaoke bar, I’m not even a great singer, but all you have to do is master one song. And when you nail it, chances are people will start cheering for you which creates a lot of social proof and the fact that you had the balls to sing shows confidence. Women will probably compliment you afterward.

Riding a Mechanical Bull (Sounds hard but is actually very impressive)

This could even be public speaking at an event, if you gave an amazing inspiring speech then people will approach you afterward.

1. Interesting Fashion

It’s number 1 because it is the easiest.

The idea of peacocking, but don’t look like an idiot!

Even wearing a nice well-tailored suit can get girls to approach.

Women that are attracted to you will approach and make a comment about your style.

If all that doesn’t work you could just point and signal her to come over, then say, “if I can make you come with just one finger imagine what I could do with my entire body” 

Now, don’t rely on these things to solve your problems with women. They aren’t going to just magically fall into your lap. If you want a lot of options then you need to approach them.

Remember, like I said before, you are a man and you go after what you want in life. So don’t rely only on these tips to get women to approach you, man up and go talk to the girls you see in your everyday life that you want to talk to.

Make Women Chase You with this One Word!

No tricks, no magic lines…

This ONE WORD will make women chase you.

This may sound like a gimmick, but there’s a much deeper psychological principle behind this one word.

And once you learn the powerful principle behind this word, you’ll have women chasing you right from the start.

It’s one thing gorgeous women RARELY HEAR.

What exactly is that word?:

What I’m about to share with you is slightly controversial and I know that a lot of people who watch this video may not agree with what I am about to say but, here’s the deal, the truth is that the hottest women in the world are used to men throwing themselves at them. Guys give them anything they want. They get into clubs for free, they get expensive dinners paid for them, they get free vacations.

When women get everything they want at no cost they start to expect it. And, pretty soon they don’t value it as much. That doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate it, but they don’t value the men who give them everything they want without having to earn it.

On top of that, A beautiful woman almost never has to work for making a man attracted her. Men just flock to her all the time because they think she’s so hot.

These women are used to guys showing too much interest too soon and putting them on a pedestal. If you want to attract women of these kinds who are used to guys fawning all over them just because they are hot then you need to do the exact opposite.

So what’s the word that will set you apart from all of those supplicating men who give her everything she wants in hopes to get a small piece of the action in return?

It’s the word “NO”

That’s right, saying no to a beautiful woman who is used to having the world handed to her on a silver platter can be very intriguing. You see men that don’t stick to their guns and sacrifice their own needs, wants, desires and passions to please a woman get walked over and are not respected.

For example: Writing a novel and your girlfriend or partner always asks for more time.

What’s really important is that you don’t put a woman before your purpose in life.

David Deida said in his book Way of the Superior Man, “If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence.”

Even if she says she wants to be #1 in your life, women actually want a man they can support in his purpose, instead of a man who throws away his dreams and goals for her.

Once in a while, she might test you to see if she can knock you off course but she doesn’t want to actually succeed in knocking you off course she just wants to see if you will be man enough to stand up to her and say no. She might seem displeased that she didn’t get what she wanted but in the long run, she will be more attracted to you.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should say no to everything she wants or use it as a manipulation tactic, you should only say no to her when you really mean it. And this can apply really any point in the interaction.

That can seem a little harsh, and kind of dick move, and if the girl isn’t at all attracted to you then yeah she’ll probably just be annoyed by it. But the point is to be more of a challenge so she see’s you as a real man.

And you don’t actually have to say the word “no” all the time, you can just put fun little restrictions whenever you make some sort of request.  I call this technique, “restricted requests”

For example:

•        Let’s go back to my place but No sex
•         Let’s go get coffee but Only for 10 minutes then I need to go
•         No touching below the belt
•          No calling me 20 times a day
•          No more, That’s all you get (after kiss)

Now obviously these are just one-liner examples, but women love them because they leave them wanting more.

When you put a restriction on something it shows that you are not that easy like all the guys out there. It’s no fun if she knows without a shadow of a doubt that you are totally into her and will do anything for her. She actually wants to wonder a little. And she wants to have to win you over.

And this is actually the basis of flirting. Flirting is not just showing interest all the time, it’s showing interest but then playfully taking it away. It keeps her guessing a little making things more interesting because she’s not totally sure if you are 100% into her. If she knows right away that you are like totally in love with her and she knows that you will go home with her or make her your girlfriend right away then she loses interest because the game is over. the fun for her is in the flirting.

So if you never tell women no or never use restriction, start doing it man. You will notice her eyes light up as she realizes that you are different than all the other guys out there, and begins flirting back with you.

5 Creepy Things Guys do that Turn Girls Off

Approaching someone new, and flirting with them can be super nerve-wracking. We’ve ALL been there. When meeting a new girl, an important thing to remember is that she will feel nervous too!

Meeting anyone new can be a little tense. If you can do something to release that nervous tension, then you’ve got a great chance. A girl wants to feel safe and at ease in your presence. That’s what attracts women. If you create awkward tension by coming across even a little creepy, she’s going to be on guard and you’re going to lose her interest.

MISTAKE 1: They don’t approach after making eye contact!

The first mistake I’ve seen a lot of guys make is that they take FOREVER to approach after making eye contact. When I’m out with my girlfriends, you can guarantee there’s going to be at least one guy that night who makes eye contact with one of us across the room. And then continues to stare over at you for 10-15 mins until they gain the courage to approach.

If you think you’re being fun and playing hard to get building that “Will they/ won’t they?” vibe across the bar, you’re wrong.

The only thing you’ve succeeded in doing is giving off stalker vibes and making the girl feel really uncomfortable knowing you’re even there. You need to approach quickly after making eye contact. Maybe catch her eye once or twice or even three times and then approach. This will make you seem confident and secure and will help her feel more at ease.

MISTAKE 2: They get too close!

The second mistake a lot of guys make is getting too close, too soon. My neighbor, a single guy, asked me a good question the other day… “What if you can’t make eye contact because it’s crowded or you just can’t seem to catch a girl’s glance? What do you do?”

This is a great question because what you do here can definitely make or break your chances. If you can’t get her attention easily, it’s definitely okay to approach her still! You’ve just got to make sure you do it the right way.

The best guideline to remember here is to respect her personal bubble. You don’t want her to feel threatened or nervous by you before you even get the chance to flirt! I have had guys approach me in a bar who tap my shoulder and when I turn around, they are literally five inches from my face!

This will immediately put any girl on edge. If you need to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, that’s great, but do it with an arm’s length between you and approach from the side if you can!

MISTAKE 3: They don’t know what to say!

Okay, so you’ve approached the girl… now what? This seems like basic advice but you need to approach with confidence and you NEED to have something to say to her! Practice this in a mirror, or with a friend, or anything you need to do. We also have an article about approaching a girl who doesn’t speak the same language as you!

Keep the conversation light, use a silly pickup line, or make a joke, or you can even tease her a little… but make sure you have SOMETHING to say other than “Hey, I’m so and so.”

Just this weekend, A guy, with whom I had made eye contact a couple times, came up to me and said  “Hey, I’m Bryan” and I smiled and said “Hey! I’m Nicole, nice to meet you.” and then he kind of dropped his head and was silent for like the longest 5 seconds and then goes… “uhhh so are you from around here?”

Needless to say, this conversation went nowhere.  After you introduce yourself, you can, and should, make a flirty comment… maybe compliment something she’s wearing, or her eyes or smile… ANYthing about her! Then use your surroundings as topic cues! Are you at a new bar or an old favorite? Talk about that!

If you’re in a coffee shop or store, make comments about your order or tell a story about something you see. By using your surroundings as cues, you can keep the conversation relevant and interactive for BOTH of you. Finding common ground can be a little awkward for anyone, so using cues around you is an easy way to get an idea of what a person likes and thinks.

MISTAKE 4: The Creepy Stare!

Making TOO much eye contact.

This can get a little tricky to find the right balance, but just as the guy who wouldn’t make eye contact with me was weird, making too much eye contact is equally, if not more, creepy. My good friend went on a date recently and the guy made a comment about how her eyes were really pretty… and then basically didn’t look away from them!

Even when she looked away, and tried to distract his gaze, he would immediately return to looking her straight in the eye. This is obviously an extreme example but it’s important to find a good balance that you’re both comfortable with.

MISTAKE 5: Too touchy-feely! 

Too much or unwelcome physical contact can also make a girl feel creeped out. This absolutely differs from girl to girl but you need to pay attention to her body language. Not only how much, but the way, you touch her really matters.

You definitely want to establish a touching interaction fairly soon in the convo, but these first physical interactions need to be light and quick. A nice touch on the arm or shoulder, or maybe at the small of her back if you’re walking… these are all great! Keep it playful! Don’t wrap your arm around her or anything like that just yet. That can make her feel trapped or uneasy.

If you’re having a chat and playfully touch her arm and she smiles and continues talking, then you’re probably good to do that again. She’ll most likely even reciprocate during the conversation. Also, if you touch her and she kinda pulls away or takes a step back, doing it again is probably going to make her feel uncomfortable.

Just because she pulled away doesn’t mean she’s not into you! If the conversation is still going well, it may just mean she’s not ready for that kind of interaction yet. Continue flirting and pay attention to body language, and she’ll let you know when she’s ready. If the conversation dies and feels awkward after a touch, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not into it, so you’ll know to make a nice exit and not waste your time with someone who’s not interested.

So I’ve covered the 5 mistakes – a lot of these things are actually EASILY AVOIDABLE as they are kind of based on a lack of confidence or nervousness. If you want to lose that approach anxiety and explode your confidence, we put together a free Confidence Cheat Sheet that gives you just what you need to gain the strength to approach a girl you like!